Friday, February 15, 2013
Shell Shock
Acrylic on board...colored version to follow.
For more information on post-traumatic stress disorder, please visit Mind. For resources/help with a veteran experiencing a crisis, please visit Veterans Crisis Line.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
More Crane-Bombing
Even though the Mystery Project officially ended in May, that doesn't mean I've stopped leaving my origami cranes for others to find. Here are some I've left in the months since my first post on the project.
Reynolds Open Space Park, Conifer, Colorado
Mining ruins on Fletcher Mountain trail, Breckenridge, Colorado
Fletcher Mountain trail (elevation 12,300 ft) with Fletcher Mountain (elev. 13,951 ft) in background.
Mining ruins in Mayflower Gulch, Colorado
Mining ruins on Mayflower Gulch Trail, Colorado
Westminster Bridge, London, England
London Underground (District Line train), England
Entrance to Grantchester Meadows, Cambridge, England
The Orchard Tea Garden, Grantchester, England
Grantchester, England
Grantchester, England
Grantchester Meadows, Cambridge, England
As you can see, I recently took (another) trip to England, which I will do a post on soon as it involves some important future plans of mine (hint-hint...graduate school!).
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Going Nuclear
Iran decided to adopt a new flag design to go along with their new nukes.
Acrylic on canvas board & Photoshop.
Acrylic on canvas board & Photoshop.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Mental Illness and the Mystery Project
I know it’s been a long time since I posted an update on here, and for that I apologize. Fortunately this particular post will highlight a project I’ve been working on for the last month, as well as offer a bit of an explanation as to why there have been no art updates.
I signed up to participate in the Arthouse Co-op’s Mystery Project. Arthouse sends you a Prismacolor art marker, as well as a prompt to help get your work going, and you create a piece of art and leave it in a public place for a stranger to find. I received my prompt (“Lines Have Been Drawn”) as well as my peacock blue art marker. I have to admit that I was left a bit stumped as to what exactly to create as a leave behind. After some thought I finally came up with a way to use the project to both inspire a stranger, as well touch upon a serious subject in an artistic and uplifting way.
The serious subject? Depression. Why depression? Well, aside from my passion for mental health issues and awareness, for much of 2011 I was actually suffering from depression. It’s not something I planned on talking about on my blog (especially as I like to keep things art-related), but if it can help someone I don’t want to stay silent. I will preface everything by saying that fortunately I don’t feel this way any longer, and had I not gone through it I wouldn’t be in the place I am now, so I am trying to count the positives of it rather than focus on the time I lost to it.
For those of you that have never had depression, or any other form of mental illness, I want to say that it is exactly like any other physical illness. You suffer. You want to get better and get aggravated when you’re not making the progress you think you should. It’s a very difficult situation to be in, especially because since you can’t “see” it like other physical ailments, some people don’t treat it like a real illness. Unfortunately because of this attitude, most that suffer from mental health issues do so in silence, which only tends to make things worse.
For me, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Oh, I feel awful, I must have depression.” It was a very gradual thing…kind of like gaining weight. You don’t notice it at first, but eventually you realize your clothes don’t fit as well as they used to. My low mood was so gradual, I didn’t notice that anything was really wrong—I just chalked it up to being stressed out or feeling tired. In fact, it took my holiday to England last year—a week where I was completely, inexorably happy—for me to realize how bad I had felt for so long. Even then things didn’t get much better, and for several more months my mood got worse and worse. It wasn’t until reading some of the great resources available from Mind that I realized the reason I felt so awful was because I was depressed. Knowing what was wrong was my first step towards recovering: if I knew what was wrong, I could go about fixing it, whereas before I was wandering aimlessly, wondering why my mood fluctuated from feeling extremely (and irrationally) irritated to incredibly morose and despairing.
There were many times when I was very down that I wanted (and needed) a kind word or empathy, and unfortunately those listening fell short on achieving this. When trying to talk about how I was feeling, I was met with phrases like, “Oh, I’m sure it’s not as bad as it seems”, or “Well, it could be worse”. While I’m sure that others meant well, the things they said often did more harm than good, often driving me to further isolate myself and not wish to talk about my issues. The problem with these phrases is that the first “brushes off” your problem, and the second guilts you into feeling worse than you already do about feeling bad. I already carried around the guilt of being a depressive, and worried that my low mood was negatively affecting others; I certainly didn’t need anyone else pointing out that things could always be worse, and were supposedly worse for others.
Part of my guilt came from my depression worsening when I was at my day job. If I was low at home, at least I was the only one dealing with it, but at work I constantly worried about it negatively affecting my coworkers. I didn’t know how to talk about it, and I didn’t really want to talk about it, mostly because of the aforementioned phrases (as well as the stigma that is unfortunately related to mental health issues). Instead I tried to deal with the situation as best I could. One of my ways to deal with a low mood at work was to make origami. It started completely by accident. I had some leftover scraps of construction paper lying around from a project and I didn’t want to waste the paper by throwing it away. On a whim I decided to look up origami instructions and pretty soon I was folding birds, pigs, fish, whatever I wanted. It gave me a small break from focusing on how badly I felt. Rather than keep a zoo of origami creatures at my desk, I would secretly gift them to my coworkers—leaving them on their desks when they weren’t looking. I hoped that they could bring a smile: a good day to make up for my bad one.
For the Mystery Project, I decided to take my origami a step further. Rather than just create the animal, I would make it into an “ornament” to hang in an unexpected place. I used the Prismacolor marker to create designs and patterns on my paper, then folded each one into the Japanese crane, a traditional symbol of happiness and good luck. For further decoration I used small glass beads, bells, and finally a tab with the phrase “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be all right.” It’s a phrase that I hope will brighten someone’s day, and show them that someone out there is hoping things get better for them, whatever their struggles are.
In case anyone is wondering why I chose that particular phrase, it’s one that I latched onto after seeing Roger Waters’ The Wall show (for the third time). The phrase scrolls across the Wall during “Mother”, and it was the exact kind of thing I was looking for to add to my project. While in the context of the show it’s meant rather cynically, I thought it was the perfect addition for a couple of reasons. One, the album was something I went to as a means of support in my dark times as it deals with depression and isolation; it was comforting to know that at some point someone felt just as sad and alone as I did. And two, I saw the show last year in London during a very low time in my life, and this time around I was feeling the exact opposite of how I felt the year before. I saw it as marking my recovery, and believe me, nothing feels quite as good as tearing down the “Wall” of isolation and despair.
**For those of you reading this that are experiencing your own mental health issues, or know someone who is, or are interested in learning more about mental illnesses, I offer these links:
ReThink, Mind, and their joint effort Time to Change - Though I’m here in the States and they’re in the UK, their resources and experience blogs really helped in my darker times
Hopeline - I never experienced the need to self harm or suicidal feelings, but I know that many people with depression have and do. Hopeline offers crisis chatlines (both via phone and online) to help those in crisis.
“Ten Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person” & “Ten Supportive Things I’m Glad Someone Said to Me” – Both wonderful posts by Charlotte, who blogs about her experience with bipolar (I recommend everything she has on her blog, she’s wonderful!).
I signed up to participate in the Arthouse Co-op’s Mystery Project. Arthouse sends you a Prismacolor art marker, as well as a prompt to help get your work going, and you create a piece of art and leave it in a public place for a stranger to find. I received my prompt (“Lines Have Been Drawn”) as well as my peacock blue art marker. I have to admit that I was left a bit stumped as to what exactly to create as a leave behind. After some thought I finally came up with a way to use the project to both inspire a stranger, as well touch upon a serious subject in an artistic and uplifting way.
The serious subject? Depression. Why depression? Well, aside from my passion for mental health issues and awareness, for much of 2011 I was actually suffering from depression. It’s not something I planned on talking about on my blog (especially as I like to keep things art-related), but if it can help someone I don’t want to stay silent. I will preface everything by saying that fortunately I don’t feel this way any longer, and had I not gone through it I wouldn’t be in the place I am now, so I am trying to count the positives of it rather than focus on the time I lost to it.
For those of you that have never had depression, or any other form of mental illness, I want to say that it is exactly like any other physical illness. You suffer. You want to get better and get aggravated when you’re not making the progress you think you should. It’s a very difficult situation to be in, especially because since you can’t “see” it like other physical ailments, some people don’t treat it like a real illness. Unfortunately because of this attitude, most that suffer from mental health issues do so in silence, which only tends to make things worse.
On a bike outside My Brother's Bar in downtown Denver, CO
Denver Museum of Nature & Science
For me, I didn’t just wake up one day and say, “Oh, I feel awful, I must have depression.” It was a very gradual thing…kind of like gaining weight. You don’t notice it at first, but eventually you realize your clothes don’t fit as well as they used to. My low mood was so gradual, I didn’t notice that anything was really wrong—I just chalked it up to being stressed out or feeling tired. In fact, it took my holiday to England last year—a week where I was completely, inexorably happy—for me to realize how bad I had felt for so long. Even then things didn’t get much better, and for several more months my mood got worse and worse. It wasn’t until reading some of the great resources available from Mind that I realized the reason I felt so awful was because I was depressed. Knowing what was wrong was my first step towards recovering: if I knew what was wrong, I could go about fixing it, whereas before I was wandering aimlessly, wondering why my mood fluctuated from feeling extremely (and irrationally) irritated to incredibly morose and despairing.
Above a trail around the Main Reservoir in Lakewood, CO.
There were many times when I was very down that I wanted (and needed) a kind word or empathy, and unfortunately those listening fell short on achieving this. When trying to talk about how I was feeling, I was met with phrases like, “Oh, I’m sure it’s not as bad as it seems”, or “Well, it could be worse”. While I’m sure that others meant well, the things they said often did more harm than good, often driving me to further isolate myself and not wish to talk about my issues. The problem with these phrases is that the first “brushes off” your problem, and the second guilts you into feeling worse than you already do about feeling bad. I already carried around the guilt of being a depressive, and worried that my low mood was negatively affecting others; I certainly didn’t need anyone else pointing out that things could always be worse, and were supposedly worse for others.
Wildlife halls, Denver Museum of Nature & Science
Part of my guilt came from my depression worsening when I was at my day job. If I was low at home, at least I was the only one dealing with it, but at work I constantly worried about it negatively affecting my coworkers. I didn’t know how to talk about it, and I didn’t really want to talk about it, mostly because of the aforementioned phrases (as well as the stigma that is unfortunately related to mental health issues). Instead I tried to deal with the situation as best I could. One of my ways to deal with a low mood at work was to make origami. It started completely by accident. I had some leftover scraps of construction paper lying around from a project and I didn’t want to waste the paper by throwing it away. On a whim I decided to look up origami instructions and pretty soon I was folding birds, pigs, fish, whatever I wanted. It gave me a small break from focusing on how badly I felt. Rather than keep a zoo of origami creatures at my desk, I would secretly gift them to my coworkers—leaving them on their desks when they weren’t looking. I hoped that they could bring a smile: a good day to make up for my bad one.
Belmar library, Lakewood, CO.
For the Mystery Project, I decided to take my origami a step further. Rather than just create the animal, I would make it into an “ornament” to hang in an unexpected place. I used the Prismacolor marker to create designs and patterns on my paper, then folded each one into the Japanese crane, a traditional symbol of happiness and good luck. For further decoration I used small glass beads, bells, and finally a tab with the phrase “Don’t worry. Everything is going to be all right.” It’s a phrase that I hope will brighten someone’s day, and show them that someone out there is hoping things get better for them, whatever their struggles are.
White Ranch Open Space Park, Golden, CO
Rose garden, City Park, Denver, CO
In case anyone is wondering why I chose that particular phrase, it’s one that I latched onto after seeing Roger Waters’ The Wall show (for the third time). The phrase scrolls across the Wall during “Mother”, and it was the exact kind of thing I was looking for to add to my project. While in the context of the show it’s meant rather cynically, I thought it was the perfect addition for a couple of reasons. One, the album was something I went to as a means of support in my dark times as it deals with depression and isolation; it was comforting to know that at some point someone felt just as sad and alone as I did. And two, I saw the show last year in London during a very low time in my life, and this time around I was feeling the exact opposite of how I felt the year before. I saw it as marking my recovery, and believe me, nothing feels quite as good as tearing down the “Wall” of isolation and despair.
Twist & Shout Records (inside Pink Floyd's The Wall album), Denver, CO
**For those of you reading this that are experiencing your own mental health issues, or know someone who is, or are interested in learning more about mental illnesses, I offer these links:
ReThink, Mind, and their joint effort Time to Change - Though I’m here in the States and they’re in the UK, their resources and experience blogs really helped in my darker times
Hopeline - I never experienced the need to self harm or suicidal feelings, but I know that many people with depression have and do. Hopeline offers crisis chatlines (both via phone and online) to help those in crisis.
“Ten Things Not to Say to a Depressed Person” & “Ten Supportive Things I’m Glad Someone Said to Me” – Both wonderful posts by Charlotte, who blogs about her experience with bipolar (I recommend everything she has on her blog, she’s wonderful!).
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Krokodil Tears
For those of you not up to date with intravenous drug use news, there are reports of a new drug epidemic in Russia. The drug? Krokodil, or "crocodile" in English, so called because one of the rather nasty after effects of continued use is the user's skin turning green and scaly due to the hydrochloric acid present in the drug. The drug literally eats you away from within, leaving severe skin deformities, brain damage, and sometimes amputations.
Seriously, don't do drugs, kids.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Drawings from Life at the Science Museum (take 2)
Please ignore the fact that it's November and that I haven't made a post since August. There are several reasons for this, one of them being that I've been trying to work on a personal project that I'm not quite ready to discuss openly since it's not a guarantee it will come to fruition. In the meantime I have sketches.
A couple of months ago I have some very good friends in from out of town and we decided to take a trip the the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I had been contemplating purchasing a membership there for a while since it would give me a place to do life drawing, and on this particular excursion I broke down and bought one. And I've loved it...and it's already paid for itself. I've been visiting almost every week since I bought it, and since I can go for free anytime I want it doesn't matter if I go in for just an hour and don't hit every exhibit since I can return whenever I want. This means that I can visit on the slower afternoons when all the school groups have left (when your day job involves working with kids you end up wanting to avoid all contact with children on your days off). I've really enjoyed going back to drawing from life, especially since I'm doing it for me and don't have to worry about art school professors grading what I've done. These are my favorites from the past few weeks.
These have all been drawn from reference in the museum's Wildlife Halls. At some point I'd like to draw some of the fossils in their dinosaur exhibit (as well as their temporary exhibit featuring a model of Sue the T-rex), but during my visits I haven't been able to well up the patience it takes to sit there and draw a full dinosaur skeleton. I have a little less than a year until my membership is up (and a new sketchbook to fill), so I'm sure I'll get to it sometime.
A couple of months ago I have some very good friends in from out of town and we decided to take a trip the the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. I had been contemplating purchasing a membership there for a while since it would give me a place to do life drawing, and on this particular excursion I broke down and bought one. And I've loved it...and it's already paid for itself. I've been visiting almost every week since I bought it, and since I can go for free anytime I want it doesn't matter if I go in for just an hour and don't hit every exhibit since I can return whenever I want. This means that I can visit on the slower afternoons when all the school groups have left (when your day job involves working with kids you end up wanting to avoid all contact with children on your days off). I've really enjoyed going back to drawing from life, especially since I'm doing it for me and don't have to worry about art school professors grading what I've done. These are my favorites from the past few weeks.
These have all been drawn from reference in the museum's Wildlife Halls. At some point I'd like to draw some of the fossils in their dinosaur exhibit (as well as their temporary exhibit featuring a model of Sue the T-rex), but during my visits I haven't been able to well up the patience it takes to sit there and draw a full dinosaur skeleton. I have a little less than a year until my membership is up (and a new sketchbook to fill), so I'm sure I'll get to it sometime.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Anarchy in the UK
This was something I meant to post a couple of weeks ago, but I was besieged by a visit from my sister (always welcome), then sickness (never welcome), and a constant feeling of "Wait...is this piece really finished?" (also not welcome). I decided that, yes, it was, because there are other things needing to be worked on.
Watching the riots that spread throughout England a few weeks ago was a truly heartbreaking experience for me. It hit a bit close to home since I have friends over there, and because it is a place that I have a deep love and connection to. The aftermath was just as difficult, since it meant seeing locals try to piece together what was left of their communities, as well as seeing the obvious disconnect between the British government (primarily from PM David Cameron) and the needs of its citizens. While it's very easy to lay blame on what politicians see as trouble making hoodlums, I think it's just as easy to understand that when you have a large number of young people that feel under served and unrepresented (while dealing with the same unemployment issues that we are here in the US), it only takes a spark to set them off. Is that an excuse for the looting and violence? No, of course it isn't. But I do feel that it is a perspective that should elicit change for the better, rather than a large scale blame game that provides nothing except sweeping the issues under the rug until they violently rear their heads again...and again...and again.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
A long, drawn out trip... (pt. 2)
I've been meaning to do this post forever, and other things kept coming up. It's more on the personal side of things since it was a vacation...or, excuse me, holiday, but there was a bit of sketching involved, as well as a visit with an old friend.
Last month I went on a much anticipated trip to England. By "much anticipated" I mean saving/planning/looking forward to it since my last trip to England. It was an amazing experience, especially since it was the first trip I've ever taken completely by myself. I got my fill of great museums (and concerts) in London, and plenty of relaxing nature walks (and pints) in Cambridge. I had originally planned to sketch more, but after the first day I realized I was on vacation, so that went out the window.
Last month I went on a much anticipated trip to England. By "much anticipated" I mean saving/planning/looking forward to it since my last trip to England. It was an amazing experience, especially since it was the first trip I've ever taken completely by myself. I got my fill of great museums (and concerts) in London, and plenty of relaxing nature walks (and pints) in Cambridge. I had originally planned to sketch more, but after the first day I realized I was on vacation, so that went out the window.
Sketches from the Natural History Museum.
As some followers may recall from my last trip, one of the absolute highlights was getting to visit my favorite illustrator/hero at his home studio. I'm very happy to say that I got to do it again.
Getting to visit Gerald again was absolutely wonderful. He's still the amazingly nice person I met in Savannah three years ago, and still working in the business and loving what he does. An added bonus of the visit was the fact that, while I was in town I attended one of Roger Waters' Wall shows, so we got to have a chat about how far the show has come since it was originally done in the 80's. I also got to show him some of my more current work, as well as talk about what I've been up to since I last saw him, including some of the difficulties of freelancing. His response is something that will stick with me for a long time: "It's very difficult to be an artist...but we're very lucky to be artists." That is one of the things have I have always loved about Gerald; every time I have seen him I have never felt a separation between professional and novice, famous and not. He has always treated me as a fellow artist.
As always, England was wonderful and beautiful, and I'm already saving up for my next trip. Until then I'll be fondly dreaming of her green fields and fish and chips while completing my 2012 Sketchbook Project submission.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Denver Chalk Art Festival
Hello, everyone! I know it's been a while since I've posted any work, due mostly to my day job, as well as my much anticipated holiday to the UK (which I will post on later). I'm hoping to turn that around, and I'll start with my most recent venture, which was strictly for fun.
This weekend I helped participate in the Denver Chalk Art Festival downtown in Larimer Square. I helped lead a team of teens from Gold Crown Enrichment, where I volunteer as an art mentor; after the teachers over there learned I had participated in SCAD's Sidewalk Arts Festival, they figured I would be a good source of information on chalk art. I hadn't done the Denver festival before, and it is set up a bit differently than SCAD's competition, although most of the differences are for the better. The pros are you aren't limited to the chalk they give you; you either purchase extra pastel packs in addition to the one box they provide you with, or bring your own. They also feed you (their sponsors were Snooze, Qdoba, Panera Bread, and Mellow Mushroom), as well as provide free parking for participants. The festival spans two days, so you're also not as strapped for time. We could have easily finished our design on the first day, but instead decided to break it up, so we spent the mornings working on the art, and then left in the afternoon (when it started getting hot). The only real downside to the event is that you are not allowed to cover your artwork, even if it starts raining. Fortunately we had two days of full sun, so this was never an issue.
I worked with the kids for a couple of weeks on brainstorming and sketching out a design, which you had to submit with the submission form. The kids quickly came up with the idea of doing a piece on Conservation vs. Consumption.
Sketching the first morning. Unlike the "professional artists" that were situated directly on Larimer Square, we were on 14th street, so we were drawing directly on asphalt. I was worried we wouldn't be able to paint over the spray paint on the street, but after many a layer of chalk we succeeded. Our location also worked out for the better as the day went on as we were next to a sidewalk with a tree for shade.
This weekend I helped participate in the Denver Chalk Art Festival downtown in Larimer Square. I helped lead a team of teens from Gold Crown Enrichment, where I volunteer as an art mentor; after the teachers over there learned I had participated in SCAD's Sidewalk Arts Festival, they figured I would be a good source of information on chalk art. I hadn't done the Denver festival before, and it is set up a bit differently than SCAD's competition, although most of the differences are for the better. The pros are you aren't limited to the chalk they give you; you either purchase extra pastel packs in addition to the one box they provide you with, or bring your own. They also feed you (their sponsors were Snooze, Qdoba, Panera Bread, and Mellow Mushroom), as well as provide free parking for participants. The festival spans two days, so you're also not as strapped for time. We could have easily finished our design on the first day, but instead decided to break it up, so we spent the mornings working on the art, and then left in the afternoon (when it started getting hot). The only real downside to the event is that you are not allowed to cover your artwork, even if it starts raining. Fortunately we had two days of full sun, so this was never an issue.
I worked with the kids for a couple of weeks on brainstorming and sketching out a design, which you had to submit with the submission form. The kids quickly came up with the idea of doing a piece on Conservation vs. Consumption.
Sketching the first morning. Unlike the "professional artists" that were situated directly on Larimer Square, we were on 14th street, so we were drawing directly on asphalt. I was worried we wouldn't be able to paint over the spray paint on the street, but after many a layer of chalk we succeeded. Our location also worked out for the better as the day went on as we were next to a sidewalk with a tree for shade.
"Painting" with chalk to lay down color, much like underpainting with oils.
The was about where we stopped on Day 1.
Start of Day 2. The guys in the front put in a fantastic city skyline.
Val (in the back with the red shirt) put in the amazing swirl detail in both the trees and in the smoke around the nuclear power plant.
All done!
Happy, accomplished artists.
I was very happy to be a part of the festival this year, especially since I got to help out a great, talented group of kids. They are already talking about trying to get two teams together for next year.
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